the reason why no one will marry me

i'm too good to tell the truth
and bad enough to be punished
too crazy to believe
too sad to save.
a much better cook than necessary
with too many housekeeping skills.
my hips are too round to hide
and my breasts too big to ignore.
my poems are too disturbing and my paintings too abstract.

I am too much in love with you
for you to return it
and not enough in love with you
to let you go.

no deal

i killed a man last night.

i plunged the camping knife i keep in my bag

straight into his neck

and left him bleeding on the pavement

outside my yoga class. 

all because he dared to ask me

why i would want to be with someone who doesn't love me. 

he probably died by the time i climbed in the car

and drove home.

i almost crashed the car

because i couldn't see through my tears. 

but you magically made everything alright

when i told you that i killed a man

and you asked me how much more longer 

you have to wait for dinner. 

what a dream come true it is

to be loved by a man

who believes that love and time 

are the same thing. 

proposal

i gave him a watch,
when he said
he doesn't have the time.

i didn't know
that he meant
he doesn't have time
for me.

now
where could i buy
that kind of watch?

the sound of a thousand silences

"my biggest fear is that we discover that you actually wanted all this."

i am here, my love,

my eyes hazy, my hand warm in yours,

my mind only a million miles away,

wondering where that other road led to. 

i do not regret

walking away from an offer of love

to pursue a lifetime of regret. 

it is the order of life

that the desert dream of rain, 

and never know what drowning is.

it is the order of life

that the moon retire to make way for the sun;

a sun which never turns black

even when you look away. 

it is probably the order of life

that you haunt my dreams forever,

so i may never learn 

how not to love you.