making love to the god of war

cheat codes will get you past the door

and passwords will open up hidden objects.

fierce combat will let you kill your enemies

and secret weapons help you conquer the world.

and when it's all over,

all that remains

is a burning hot wish

to do it all over again.

the laws of the land

when someone asks me

about the day that changed my entire life,

now i will know how to reply.

be my witness

when i refuse to listen,

and stubbornly believe in you

and refuse to reason,

be my witness.

when i ask for

the unreasonable

and cry forever

be my witness.

when i lie in your arms

and wake up a different person,

when i shut the door

and lose the key

be my witness.

for when i die,

only you shall remember me.

only you

shall be my witness.

"...pretending that we are both not scared... sitting here and waiting... and pretending.... that's love."

thank you for pretending.

i will do the same for you one day.

everyone's angry. i'm making everyone angry.

why? do you all need someone to be angry at?

ok, go ahead.

i volunteer to be the one.

i am the one.

why is everyone giving up on me?

since when is it ok to surrender? since when is it permitted to doubt? since when is it unacceptable to listen or try to understand?

the difficult part, like always, is not to arrive on that fabled beautiful deserted island, with that fabled someone special. the difficult part is to figure out how to return. because you burnt all those bridges. even those infamous fabled ones.

i can't go forward. i can't return.

i can't leave. and i can't stay.

if i say i've learnt my lesson,

you will only go on to teach me another one.

patience is a virtue. i read that somewhere.

i can pick up socks off the bathroom floor a thousand times. i can stay awake till 4 am for you to come home. i can cook endless plates of food and stock the fridge with countless bottles.

i can write a thousand lines for you and sing hundreds of songs. i can smile at you forever. i can look into your eyes for all eternity. i can sleep peacefully on your shoulder for always. i can stay in your arms and receive your kisses until you tire of them. i can give myself up to you until the sun stops shining.

forgive me please,

for nobody taught me how to be patient.

does the sun shine ?

the last time i saw you, you had angry eyes.

you were angry that the sun never shines when we need it. and that it never rains in the desert. and that after a visit to the beach, there is sand just everywhere.

so i turned the world around for you. now the nights are hotter than day. the cold seeps in through the windows. and the sun shines when you want it to.

now your eyes are calm.

but i know

that calm eyes are followed by stormy hearts.

you can certainly win if you cheat.

but who will you play with

if i'm gone ?

si tu m'oblige de marcher toute seule,

tu seras tout seule si je décide de marcher.

this will really hurt. and i'm jumping anyway.

will you stand by, please?

do you think it's ok

if i stop thinking of you

once in a while?

that was the sound of something breaking

you can break me into pieces
and put me in the trash.
you can fold me like a newspaper
and leave me in the train.
you can wipe me off the table
and dust me out the window.
you can grab me by the ankles
and fling me into the water.
you can drop me into the sink
and flush me down the drain.
you can throw me on the floor
and crush me under your foot.
you can erase me in your book
and replace me with another.


and yet,
you can never
forget me.

it's getting dark.
don't let go of my hand,
for we may never find our way back again.

"where you lead,

i will follow."

plunging into the sea is scarier than jumping into the darkness. i know because i did it today. and the cold is certainly not what hits you first. the first moment demands you to rethink what you just did. even though you can't take it back, even though you can't go back, your mind forces you to think of what you just did.

then it starts to reason. the very point of all those words and phrases and sentences put together to reason out anything in the world. those words that come as easily as lies. the sentences that seem to put themselves together. only to justify the stupidity of your actions.

but the darkness though is a friend. when everything is black, nothing makes sense. when there is no light at all, nothing seems worth the effort. because who would see? if you cried, the darkness will swallow your tears. if you laugh, it disappears. and if you just sit down and breathe, the darkness will forget about you too.

so when the time comes to jump, it doesn't really help if you close your eyes. because the darkness behind your eyes will fool you. it will make you believe you are alone. and when you suddenly open your eyes because you sense you are close to hitting the water's surface, your first thought is "what have i done?"

just for a second though. then you hit the water. and close your eyes again. the water moves apart to hug you, as if it were a welcoming friend. but you know there is no such thing. a friend that welcomes you is one who awaits your departure.

thats when you realize that its really cold. and that there is no going back. the water is freezing and your feet can't feel any solid ground. and you can't hear anything from above the surface. and after a while, the light starts to fade away. and you start sinking into that fabled darkness.

at last. you recognise this place. you have been here before. this is that same deep black that knows your tears and has heard your laughter and has your secrets hidden away somewhere.

at last you know. taking the plunge has never been so rewarding.

love

you must remember,
now that you have broken me,
it's up to you
to put me back again.