Wednesday, September 30, 2009

this will really hurt. and i'm jumping anyway.

will you stand by, please?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

do you think it's ok
if i stop thinking of you
once in a while?

Monday, September 14, 2009

that was the sound of something breaking

you can break me into pieces
and put me in the trash.
you can fold me like a newspaper
and leave me in the train.
you can wipe me off the table
and dust me out the window.
you can grab me by the ankles
and fling me into the water.
you can drop me into the sink
and flush me down the drain.
you can throw me on the floor
and crush me under your foot.
you can erase me in your book
and replace me with another.


and yet,
you can never
forget me.

it's getting dark.
don't let go of my hand,
for we may never find our way back again.

Friday, September 11, 2009

"where you lead,
i will follow."

plunging into the sea is scarier than jumping into the darkness. i know because i did it today. and the cold is certainly not what hits you first. the first moment demands you to rethink what you just did. even though you can't take it back, even though you can't go back, your mind forces you to think of what you just did.
then it starts to reason. the very point of all those words and phrases and sentences put together to reason out anything in the world. those words that come as easily as lies. the sentences that seem to put themselves together. only to justify the stupidity of your actions.

but the darkness though is a friend. when everything is black, nothing makes sense. when there is no light at all, nothing seems worth the effort. because who would see? if you cried, the darkness will swallow your tears. if you laugh, it disappears. and if you just sit down and breathe, the darkness will forget about you too.

so when the time comes to jump, it doesn't really help if you close your eyes. because the darkness behind your eyes will fool you. it will make you believe you are alone. and when you suddenly open your eyes because you sense you are close to hitting the water's surface, your first thought is "what have i done?"

just for a second though. then you hit the water. and close your eyes again. the water moves apart to hug you, as if it were a welcoming friend. but you know there is no such thing. a friend that welcomes you is one who awaits your departure.

thats when you realize that its really cold. and that there is no going back. the water is freezing and your feet can't feel any solid ground. and you can't hear anything from above the surface. and after a while, the light starts to fade away. and you start sinking into that fabled darkness.

at last. you recognise this place. you have been here before. this is that same deep black that knows your tears and has heard your laughter and has your secrets hidden away somewhere.

at last you know. taking the plunge has never been so rewarding.