time bound

as i feel my way through the darkness,
my fingers unsure of themselves,
i suddenly hear a voice,
familiar and yet, mocking
i move closer, hoping to find solace,
i hear it laughing.
uneasy, scared as the lonely autumn leaf,
i attempt a smile,
glad to find relief after all,
a helping shoulder to bear the burden of love.
suddenly i see the face,
a shock of clarity in the blur of sorrow,
a face, cruel and angry, filled with despair,
and yet he smiles.
i heard his laughter before,
now it's louder, and enraged.
i realise, in a flash of truth,
that he shares my sorrow.
he knows of the unflinching pain,
he has kept me company
through the darkness.

yesterday i was happy.
now, i sit with time
in the darkness
and smile
while he laughs at me.

Just follow

One for the road. 

The last one. 

For the last time. 

Never again. 

Just this once. 

Lessons learnt, 

Morals never forgotten. 

I've never done this before. 

Never thought I would. 

Like they say, 

There's always only one reason 

to do what we should not.  

But have you ever tried

to stop the rain from falling? 

fire and choice

we should have set the boundaries,
decided on the rights and wrongs.
we should have laid down the rules,
long before we were to meet.
we should have agreed that it's too late,
and put this off for another day.
we should have planned for the truth
to drown us, leaving nothing behind.
we should have pre-empted
that life would teach us a lesson
in less than 140 characters.
we should have imagined
a world that cannot be satiated.
we should have thought of what ten years
could do to our wandering souls.
we should have wondered
what the world would look like,
when consumed by the fire.

we should have known
this would happen.

at the very least,
you should not have let your fingers
find their way to mine.

at the very least,
you should not have looked at me
the way you did.

If it was me

Teri meri kahaani 

hai barishon ka paani. 

3am.

Rain outside my window. 

Thunder and lightning 

in my heart. 

And the god

sleeps. 

That's my kindness

When you look for me,

in between the tears of the rain, 

When you seek love, 

and I'm nowhere to be found, 

When you call for me, 

and I'm invisible 

When you want to share anger, 

and I'm invincible, 

That's my kindness. 

Reasons

There 

is 

a 

reason

why 

the 

sun

is 

so 

far 

away. 

no matter what

it's that time of the year,
when i fall in love
with you.

again.

summons

he is a king without a kingdom,
born to rules hearts, as they say.
little does he know, he is the ruler of the universe

he has everything he could ask for,
and everything he didn’t.

the sun rises in the morning, shy and eager
hoping to shine on the right side of his bed.
the stars align themselves 

like little girls in a ballet school,
wishing they shine down the path he walks on.
the trees whisper among themselves, 

hoping against hope
that he look up at them as he passes by.
the rain pours down joyously, 

dancing among the leaves,
putting on a brilliant show, 

knowing he might look out the window.
the women pen for him the most romantic poems,
praying he read them, even if only to discard them
like dry shrubs through a forest of fire.

he is king to all, and slave only to himself,
he knows of mountains he has scaled alone,
and oceans he alone has crossed.
he rules the wind; and bids the waves on their journey to the horizon
he calls upon the birds to sing songs to his liking,
he persuades the landscapes to blur in to his paintbrush.

he is king to all,
slave only to himself.
and yet he cannot ignore
the summons of his heart.

yes

"a tale is but half told, 

when only one person tells it"

if you and i were 

blindfolded

and left alone in the darkness

with no words left to say,

we would never seek to find each other,

knowing that the fire of your touch

would light up the dark,

and we would be discovered. 

i will be content 

to sit in the darkness with you,

share the air with you

feel the cold on your skin

and answer the questions your heart doesn't ask. 

but we wouldn't touch

thankful for the only thing 

that stands between me and you
and keeps us safe;

- distance. 

goddesses

7am and i'm lying awake
too dazed from last night.

I believe I've had too much to drink,
too many smokes, and too many stories,

but what really got my blood racing
was your eyes saying what shouldn't be said.

drunk with your kisses,
tipsy from your fingers running down my back,
high from the sweet nothings whispered in my ear.

and the fire burns on,
knowing there is no cure
to the intoxication
that your spirit
wrecks on my soul.

oh, what sweet death to a firefly
burned while soaring
towards the sun!

heart. break.

i hope you are happy. in the east.
i hope you are happy. in june. 

i saw you the other day, walking down the street, tall and proud. as if you owned it. you walked fast as always. no short girl in high heels by your side to slow you down. i couldn't see your hands, they were bundled tight into your jacket pockets, but i knew you were wearing your fingerless striped gloves. hat on your head to keep your ears warm, and a muffler casually tied around your neck, as if the cold were just a part of your plan. indifferent to it, yet it circled around you as if you ushered it in yourself. as if it would just stop being cold after you walked by.

it seemed like a postcard in black-and-white. handsome man walking down a picturesque street in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, nonchalant, happy with just being. happy for the cobblestones under his feet. and the world around you was glowing back, as if it came into existence only after you looked at it.

only one thing was amiss. but you didn't seem to notice so it didn't really matter. a big splatter of red in the black-and-white frame. my heart torn to pieces, violated beyond measure, bleeding profusely, scratched and broken, barely breathing, exhausted from the violence, yet never really giving in to the shame of being broken by you.

the red splatter was a small inconsequential part of the entire photograph. something no one would even notice at first glance. something you didn't notice either. and as you walked by, the cobblestones bled red behind you, and nobody really cared.

no matter how much one may hate the sun, it still rises every morning. and no matter how many houses you occupy, you will never have a home.

this is the curse of fire.