you turned around and left
and i learned what addiction means.

i'm unable to sleep without you
angrily breathing by my side. 

unfinished conquests

because when you were talking about the dishes
and the laundry and the children and deadlines
and the dust on the black lamps,
he was stroking that little hollow below my neck
that makes me breathless.

because when you were telling me about the heavy silence
he was making me scream.

because when the wind was telling me to stop
the ocean came rushing up and took me away
before i could refuse.

decisions for a rainy day

when the mist clears

and the darkness has been broken

by a lonely little sparkle of light

i shall stand before you

clothed only in my dreams.

black

lace

soft

wet

and when you ask if all my dreams came true, 

i shall answer, "yes". 

never ever after

and so i've arrived

not at crossroads as i was expecting,

but at the helm

of a strange, misty, doubting 

street 

which leads nowhere.

people pass me by.

mothers look at me disapproving,

old women look at me with questions on their lips

young men look at me with lusting, ashamed eyes

the girls, they don't look at me. 

strangers all

and making up plans 

in their heads

for me.

stories with a different beginning, 

stories with no climatic twist,

stories that finish with 'ever after.'

people pass me by

they don't come from where i left,

and they don't go where i turn.

where do i belong

hearing but not listening,
not paying attention,
texting while i'm driving,
watching tv while i'm on the phone,
nodding to rap when i'm working;

distracted
elsewhere
day-dreaming
restless
chaotic inner peace.

it's when you decide to let go
that i shall know where i belong.

until then,

watch your step,
pay attention to the road,
look both ways
concentrate

for i'll always be somewhere close by.