happy birthday

the mirror has clouded over, and my reflection is blurry,

there is no spark in my eyes, or shine in my hair. 

the loud laughter has faded into fake smiles

and the warm hugs have turned into formal handshakes.

i am old now.

older than the trees that surround my soul,

colder than the seas in which i drown,

and darker than the nights that keep me awake.

as i line my eyes with soothing black carbon

and paint my lips with sad browns,

i think of all the quick forgotten kisses,

the hurried early morning hugs,

the incessant teasing phone calls,

shared beds and secret smiles,

the timely reminders of my loneliness. 

hurry up and make a wish on your happy day,

and i will make it come true.

but remember, when night comes

both of us will have to return to our darkness. 

two minute poem

if i gave you two minutes
to close your eyes
and escape to a world
where everything is possible,

would you have the courage
to let me go?

hot and cold

the sea comes rushing up to meet me
it wants to engulf me in its soothing darkness.
the sun rises high to pour its warmth on me,
not allowing for a minute of forgiving shade.
the winds threaten to carry me far away
from the legendary happiness that bounds my ankles.
the sands of the hottest indian deserts
offer themselves to help me drown in the mirages.

and all this while, all i can think of
is how i flee tempting offers such as these
to be a part of your impatient hatred.

just like all the women in the world
cannot make you happy,
all the time in the world
cannot make me forget.

80

someone told me once
that silence is a virtue.

fool.

do you not know
that the shouting only starts
when the silence
becomes too much to bear. 

born and forgotten

the church bells ring

to awaken tired souls from their disturbed slumber.

they bring news of broken homes,

and love that survived the storms of the seven seas. 

the church bells ring

to remind me that sins once committed are never forgiven,

just as love once declared is never forgotten.

they are wise as they are loud.

let the church bells ring

and be witness to my shame

my angst, my fear, my despair,

let the church bells ring

and be witness to your joy,

your peace, your passion, your love,

let the church bells ring today. 

BRB

after all has been said and done, 

when we will have both learned

the art of ignorance,

when the hurt won't sting,

and the tears don't come easily,

when the walls we build

become bigger than the dreams we shared,

i will wear my scars proudly.

i will show off my broken heart

and declare

that it was worth this eternity of sadness. 

for now,

all i have

is everything. 

let it be known,

the fool who said

to have loved and lost is better

knows not what loss means.