unexpected

i've lived a careful life so far;
i have one friend from my years as a child,
one soul-mate as witness to my life,
and one man as proof of my love.

but i've realised lately,
much to my sadness,
that no matter how learned we become,
we are still shocked
to see refusal in our lover's eyes.

well.
i shall take comfort in knowing,
at least in the years to come,
refusal and darkness shall be my friends,
my soul-mates, my loves.