Saturday, June 6, 2020

invisible

remember the first time i said i love you? 
and remember how you didn't say it back? 

as the world burns and the george flyods of the world rest in peace, 
i can't help but wonder if his final punishment was actually deliverance. 

the sadness of the world destroys me. 
sometimes,
i think about running away, but when i look up,
the end is never in sight. 
the revolution flames on, but when the sun rises again, 
i find myself looking fear in the eye. 
i long for happiness like rapture. 

i long for love,
for caresses and comfort,
and the simple truth of holding someone's hand
and have them hold mine back. 
i long for an assuring word,
that everything is actually going to be okay. 
i long for someone to take the baton from me,
i am tired, and i cannot run anymore. 

i wish for you to see me, as i am, in glory or shame,
i wish to be overwhelmed by your love,
rather than picking up pieces of it in the air 
left behind after you turn away. 
i long for you to know
the path to your glory is pebbled with pieces of me. 

despair overwhelms my words tonight,
for it is love that makes me do what i do. 
and for as long as i can remember, 
i was told that everything is fair
in love. and war.