courage

i am always careful.
my caresses are gentle, my kisses soft,
even if I sometimes want to tear you apart to see if I am in your heart.
my hands press into your skin,
but my nails leave no marks.
my eyes drink in every drop of you,
as if to satisfy the thirst of the years we lost,
I breathe you in, because I was gasping for air,
drowning and trying to hold on,
before you taught me how to let go.
I am always careful,
I wash off my lipstick before I kiss you,
so it may not spread rumours about us.
I make sure your shirts are put up on hangers,
so that the wrinkles don't smell like me.
I am always careful.
the only ones who know about us
are the tissues you throw away, soaked in secrets,
or the tissues I throw away, soaked in tears.
I am careful not to let the words spill out of my mouth, 

even if they may choke me to death.
I am careful to never let you look at me,
the way I look at you.
I know how to turn love into laughs, and conversations into friendship,
and how to erase and delete and destroy any trace of us.
I am careful to never let them know,
that every minute we spend together,
is worth five you spend with them.
that every drop of rain that makes you think of me,
is worth more than every photograph they take.
I am careful to not let them see that I worship your smile,
Yes, the same one that they take for granted.
I am always careful.
I would never let another tongue near mine,
because I know that i would taste of you.
I am careful, I don't write down the things you say to me, 

because when they come looking,
they will find only me, not you.

They will only find me,
and if they knew what they were looking for,
they would see immediately
that you are in every part of me,
and they would bow their heads in acceptance,
knowing that they cannot unbind us.

I am always careful
to never let them see the bruises you gave me,
or even the ones I give myself.