how to create creativity

"bandook dikha dikha ke kya pyaar karegi,
kabhi chehra bhi dikhana"

now, it is a simple statement of fact
that you are here. and you are not here.
only the complete absence of thought
can rid my mind of you.
but as wise men once said,
you can never forget. you can only replace.
so i look to every unimaginable sin
to replace your thought in my mind.
but even your silence is poetry.
and no escape from these words
flowing through my veins.

now, it is a simple statement of fact
that i will change your life forever,
or your money back.
guaranteed smiles in the darkness,
threshold promises of the best quality ever.

one look from you, upwards to the heavens
brings down rain that can drown the oceans.
how can a mere goddess like me
look in to your eyes,
and not feel time stopping in its tracks,
waiting for your smile, to continue breathing?

darling

"bada badtameez, besharam, khudgarz hota hai.
par pyaar to aise hi hota hai."

i told a terrible lie once,
i remember your face when i said the words.
it was a simple, inconceivable thought
that would go on
to determine which way the wind blew.

but the trees knew of my deception.
the rain came down like tears
warning you to stay away from here.
and the sun refused to shine
giving you a sign to let me go.
even the darkness whispered quietly,
advising caution against the raging fire.

the entire universe stayed awake
from nightfall until the moon woke up again,
trying to burn us down.

and all it took was a few words.
truth, disguised as lies,
to bring down a goddess
and remind her of her only weakness.

yes, even goddesses pretend to be weak,
when their gods are occupied
with such trivial matters such as love.

post somno

"crossing boundaries is different from disregarding them"


it's been brewing for longer than appropriate,
and i'm starting to have nightmares.

I imagine us in a strange far-away place,

with nothing but the trees to keep us company. 

they whisper and shake in trepidation 

the only witnesses to our sin. 
they shout at us, and try to pull us apart,

when finally the rain drowns our smiles.

I've realised that elegance is more important 

than suffering. 

little does the world know 

that every time we kiss,
we silently say goodbye.

Gossip

The three-course meal was delicious,

the wine aged to perfection.

the dessert had just the right amount of chocolate, 

and the kiss was the only way it could have ended.  

Ten years later, 

when both of them had forgotten the taste of love,

the lonely handkerchief,

in the bottom of the box on top of the undusted cupboard

under the pile of clothes that the kids had long outgrown,

was the only thing that remembered 

the surprisingly quiet evening. 

a loneliness deeper than the sea

It's a lonely world

too few words to say what I mean, 

too many questions

with answers I don't want. 

it's a damn cold night 

when you finally know

that even the arms of the one you love

cannot heal the chill in your bones. 

I've left love behind me, 

and so it burned our bridges in anger.

now I don't recognise it anymore. 

and i will never know what it means 

to belong 

to you. 

it's a lonely road 

no lights on the way, 

and I know now 

that the end of the tunnel 

is darker than the beginning.  

the desperate sadness of heartbreak 

has built a fort around me 

that will last one thousand years, 

and even if in ruins, 

will be marvelled at one day. 

In the meantime 

all I can hope for 

is for it to protect me

against even the most furious rain. 

pit stops

fear grips me on the inside, but i'm still smiling.
i've never been more afraid in my life.

it's been a long time coming, this unforgiving doom
i've learnt its secrets, and know its truth.
i realize it's time to leave, before it gets too late;
before i'm trapped in this maze
that has no beginning and no end.

the trees in the dark forest tell me to calm down,
steady your breathing, close your eyes.
the tree, they say, never grudges the leaves for leaving,
the river doesn't complain about the fish
swimming upstream.
books don't cry about unhappy endings,
like doors that cannot ask to never be closed.

i will never be rid of this fear.
and when you take me in your arms,
i close my eyes
so i don't have see its blazing eyes
staring at me through the darkness.

it felt like goodbye

"i can't promise i will heal you,
but if you want to,
i will try"

look at us now.
we have crashed and burned,
and set the world on fire.

look at us now.
even the most determined rain
cannot stop the ashes of our love
from dancing in the wind.

this fire will never end
until the safest place in the world
has burned down to nothing,
and become poems rushing to meet the wet earth.

look at us now.
we laughed at the clock tick against us,
but we never took a minute
to learn how to say goodbye.

look at us now.
so much to say to each other,
in languages neither of us speak.
our only hope is to watch as the rain cries,
begging for forgiveness
while our tears turn into fire in our eyes.

look at me now.
i know the right words,
but only you know the song.

look at you now.
you know the way i want to be kissed,
but only i know how to say goodbye.

fire and rain

"my hands, they're strong,

but my knees were far too weak

to stand in your arms,

without falling to your feet." 

i keep my eyes open 

when your lips touch mine,

in disbelief that the universe 

has actually made this happen. 

and in that moment of truth,

i want for nothing, 

not even for the moment to last 

longer than it should. 

we are such a perfect symphony, you and i,

not a note need be added, nor removed.

we can neither be improved nor erased, 

we shall never be forgiven, nor forgotten. 

i know i'm not the only one

i want
to pick up
the broken pieces
of your soul
put them together,
make it beautiful again
and hand it to you,
so you can give it
to her.

sexy

i'm bruised and broken and scarred,
marks all over my body.
my knees tremble as i go up the stairs,
not yet healed from being pushed against the wall.
my elbows, scarlet from being held down on the floor.
i have scratches on my thighs and aches in my muscles,
from my neck down to my toes.
i'm beaten down, time and again,
forced to swallow my pride
and spit out the words that you want to hear.
my hair hurts from being pulled,
to bear witness to the tales of the darkness.
my eyes tear up, as i remember
your unforgiving mouth on my shoulder,
forcing me to listen to your shameful truth.
my mind is numb, unable to believe.
and my heart is dead,
bleeding on the carpet, stunned into silence
by the look in your eyes.

in the morning, all is calm and soft,
for the lesson has been learnt.

this pain and i,
we belong together. 

the colour blue

I'm not too fond of the colour blue.

it usually spells rejection. 

it creeps up on you 

when you least expect it,

and shouts in your ear

forcing you to acknowledge 

that no matter what shade or gradient,

blue means no. 

letter won

dear you,

it's been a long time since i saw you, i hope time has been kind to you. i walked across the bridge early this morning (to your side). it was calm and cold, letting me know you hadn't opened your eyes yet. i said a silent prayer to the sun, willing him not to rise, and to let your dreams remain undisturbed.

some things in life are too complicated to explain, and some dreams are too beautiful to come true. alas, how often i have seen the sun laugh in the face of my wishes. no wonder, i have resorted to looking at the moon, in the hope that it will reflect your happy face.

in any case, i was about to walk further, but it started to rain. a warning sign. to not take another step forward, to turn around and to forget and forgive. i turned around. crossed the bridge again to my side. i smiled, knowing you were thinking of me. and that was enough. yes, just like in the movie.

much love, me

until it rains again

It is at a time like this, 

when I am utterly alone

like the wet earth

after the rain has abandoned it,

that I love you the most. 

10 questions

what is better than sex?
talking.

what is better than talking?
long drives.

what is better than long drives?
a-ring-on-the-finger.

what is better than a ring on the finger?
experience.

what is better than experience?
lying.

what is better than lying?
poetry.

what is better than poetry?
rain.

what is better than rain?
silence.

what is better than silence?
truth.

what is better than truth?
sex.

bestseller

it's been ten years since i saw your face.
that kind look when you would see me go by,
the assuring smile,
saying everything that could not be said.
it's been many moons,
and many winters come and gone.
the snow always reassuringly
bringing news of you from beyond the sea.

i know you are happy,
the rain said so himself.
i knew you were thinking about us the other day,
the trees passed on the secret to me.
i could feel you looking at your fingers and reminiscing,
entwined and trusting, desperately holding on
for one more minute,
the seas brought to me the familiar warmth, wave after wave.
the sun comes up every morning,
to whisper your thoughts to me,
and begs me to keep it secret.

it's been ten years.

sadly, that's no reason why
time and i
should become friends again.